My experience with open relationship

If you read my blog, you would know that I support polygamy for both women and men. Unlike Islam :P.

It should be the person’s choice. If one prefers polygamy, he or she should have the right to pursue it. It should not be a taboo.

I tried open relationship once. When I was 25 years old, I had a semi-girl friend. Guess what semi-girl friend means ;). So she was already in love with another man. But she had to move to my neighborhood, away from her other boy friend. And she needed company while she stayed here.

I seldom get girl friends and i am liberal, So i said Ok.

It went on smoothly for a while. I never met him, never talked to him. Just knew he existed somewhere. But as time passed by, there was always this feeling inside me that this is temporary. I couldn’t commit myself completely, because I knew she would be gone one day. Although I knew monogamous relations will also be gone or divorced one day. I could feel that she felt the same way too. But we had good sex the whole time ;).

I consider myself excessively romantic. I like to spoil and surprise my girl and make her feel special. But I couldn’t do it for her. Don’t know why.

And time passed by. And she left as expect. Surprisingly, she dumped the other guy too.

Another reason why I felt insecure in this relationship is, I knew it would be easy for her to move on and find other partners. But as 25 year old average man, it is impossible for me. So I felt if i am showing excessive care and love, she should deserve it and i should have equal opportunity for open relationships.

Maybe I need another chance to truely experience open relationship. Or maybe open relations are too tricky.

Advertisements

Why I am deciding to go my own way

Its been 27 fucking years and no girl friend yet. I am nice, compassionate, romantic, caring, gender equal and liberal. But oh but I am a geek, not muscular, not tall and not an alpha.

I have spent best part of my years trying to find the one of my life. But in vain.

Red faced and left alone

I tried everything I could. Went to pubs, parties, etc. But no woman seems to be even remotely interested. They don’t even want to give a chance or benefit of doubt.

It wasn’t easy to go through nuclear rejection and return home red faced feeling alone every single night. Especially when you are introverted and shy. I am glad that after so many rejection from so many women, I din’t turn into a woman hater.

Unlike what most women think, it is not some women. It is almost all of them or most of them. 

We understand that we are not that attractive

In all honesty, We do understand that we are not all that attractive to women.

Being

  • Shy
  • Not muscular
  • Not acting like an arrogant dickhead
  • Not rich
  • Making ourselves easily available

is un-sexy to women and turns them off. That is all we are. But on the plus, we are

  • Nice
  • Compassionate
  • Care about you
  • Having you around us is something we can only dream of

But it doesn’t seem like those are the things women really want. Or maybe women want those things only from dickheads.

Online dating

Online dating is even more frustrating.

A flood of messages

Women don’t read or consider our messages anymore because they get floods of inappropriate messages from horny men.

Women have high expectations

It is well known that women on internet (and also in real life) have sky high expectations. 

  • Tall
  • Handsome
  • Rich
  • Advanced degree
  • blah blah

It is heart breaking to not find one profile that says I am looking for someone to love and care.

Instead I see messages that say “Fuck off all men.”, “Don’t message if you are a man.”, etc.

We are not a bunch of loosers

In the beginning i thought I was the only one going through this. Then I realized that this happens to most men. Most average men go through a rough patch in life during their 20s. With high hormone levels and no women to compliment them, it is a living hell.

Most of us are also highly career oriented, getting or already acquired college degrees, getting or already acquired secure jobs, etc. But your definition of looser might differ.

This is not revenge

We are not going our own way as a revenge measure. It just doesn’t seem like it is worth it.

Feminism and progressive thinking, doesn’t only empower women, it also empowers men like me. It also makes us independent. I don’t see a need for women anymore. I can cook, clean, get high enough salary to fend for myself.

In contrast, my dad’s generation seems to be more dependent on women. My dad would freak out if my mom is not home for a week. Me, I have lived my whole life so far living alone. Seems peaceful to me.

I absolutely love my solitariness and independence. You know, the same cliche stuff, get up whenever i want, sleep whenever i want, be out whenever i want, play with friends whenever i want, don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to change diapers, etc.

You don’t deserve us

Finally, as much as we don’t deserve you, you don’t deserve us either. You don’t deserve us after all this while we have been trying to be nice and caring, you don’t even recognize our existence.

I only hope that some day you will get old, ugly, fat, wrinkled and not desirable anymore. And you realize how we invisible men feel. How hard it is to be un-appreciated, alone and not find someone to make love to. Enjoy your spotlight while you can.

You can’t eat you cake and have it. Not in my house.

Why am I starting this blog?

I am 27 years old. Geek. Software engineer. I think I qualify for “Nice guy” or beta ever body keeps referring to in MGTOW community.

As expected, I have never been married and never had a girl friend. Now, I realize that it is not worth looking for one.

Recently, I have been reading a lot about MGTOW and MRA. Although, I can relate to a lot of what it is written there. There is a lot I can never agree or totally disagree.

I think, today, most of the MGTOW community (at least the ones that speak out), are either conservatives, Christians or women-haters (not very different from radical feminist man-haters). I can’t really put up with the woman-hatred in these communities. I think these people don’t represent the MGTOW community.

This is a little initiative to voice progressive liberal atheistic MGTOW thoughts.

  • I don’t hate women
  • I support gender equality
  • I don’t think  men should dominate and women should be submissive
  • I support abortion and contraception
  • I support independent career minded women
  • I support maternity leaves, better childcare
  • I support everything that empowers women
  • You get it!

But I think, women do have some unfair advantage in certain areas. Especially, they have socially and sexually privileges , at least early in our lives.

Talking about privileges, I don’t like the feminist-ic concept that men are ‘always’ privileged and women are victims. Maybe a century ago. Today, in most of the western countries, the privileges and power are “almost” balanced.

So, in this blog, I am going to voice my reasons on why “Men should go their own way” from liberal perspective.